I decided a few months ago that I shouldn’t ever listen to Adele. Her sultry voice, as beautiful as it is, makes me schmaltzy, nostalgic and just all around sad, evoking the same emotions that watching "The Notebook" would. Both are to be avoided, especially this time of year.
Today is Valentine’s Day, also known as the Day of Love, also known as Singles Awareness Day. It’s a day where those in love become more in love and those who are forever alone feel more forever alone. The binary reaches its peak separation distance today, to be returned to somewhat normal tomorrow.
I’m personally not a fan of Valentine’s Day. I consider myself a hopeless romantic, but really, Valentine’s Day just sucks if you don’t have a person to spend it with. I know it’s unrealistic, but I grew up on Disney movies and romantic comedies, so I’m still holding out for that knight in shining armor.
I’ve tried to convince myself otherwise, of course. It’s the 21st Century, after all. Channeling my inner Jamie Lee Curtis in “Freaky Friday,” I am a smart, strong, beautiful independent woman and I don’t need a man to complete me, dammit.
On the other hand, Valentine’s Day does push another one of my buttons as it reinforces the stereotype that a man must provide for his woman and she just has to take it. From what I’ve overheard around town and campus, guys hate Valentine’s Day because it drains their wallets and they’re expected to plan this big hoo-hah of a thing. And then they do it to get in their significant others’ pants, let’s be real here.
Why shouldn’t I, as an aforementioned strong, independent woman, be allowed to ask out a guy for Valentine’s Day? Why is it such a weird phenomenon if the girl makes the first move?
I am perfectly capable of planning a date (and paying for it) or buying some guy a giant teddy bear and a box of chocolates.
I realize this contradicts everything I said in the first half of this column, but there is a balance between the two extremes. I inherited my hopeless romantic ways from my father, but my feminist ways from my mother. These clashing ideals have bonded together, resulting in a rather conflicted me.
Perhaps out of all this, I could be the knight in shining armor. I’ll just pull a Joan of Arc on all of you but instead of helping to defeat English forces, I’ll rescue some dude in distress and ride off into the sunset.
That way, I’ll still have the romance and the suit of armor while also upholding values and social change that millions of women in the last century have nobly fought for.
It’s the season of love, but it’s also the season for hate and bitterness, so be nice.
For those of you who have a special someone or a couple special someones or whatever you’re into, good for you. You go have a cute time. Go see some cute movie, exchange cute gifts and cutely cuddle and be all cute and stuff. Do whatever you want. Just please don’t shove it in my face.
I think the rest of us should band together. We should all get Chinese food from The Emerald and watch crazy action films. We should celebrate Singles Awareness Day with pride and try to avoid the pressing doubt in the back of our minds that we’ll ever find someone. At least we can all be lonely together.
Maybe we’ll pick up a couple cats too. They’re always a good time.